Top 5 Signs You Are Stuck In Your Ways

Over the last year or so I have encountered a large amount of people that are stuck in their ways.  This condition comes in a variety of forms but they all seem to have one thing in common: victims can only see life one way.  They are unable to deal with change easily and have difficulty buying in to new ideas.  When presented with a new idea, they often will seem receptive at first but quickly come up with reasons why the new idea won't work.  They usually end up doing exactly what they have always done.

Unfortunately this condition can be contagious.  Carriers will try and influence their co-workers but are not always successful.  Co-workers will recognize when someone is stuck in their ways because they become frustrated working with them.  It feels like the victim can't see the bigger picture, always seems to shoot down new ideas, and easily becomes uncomfortable when discussing change.  At times, having a meeting with someone with this condition feels like you are hitting your head against the wall.

I never want to get this condition.  I don't want to be the person that people don't want to work with and doesn't get invited to important meetings because they think I will slow down progress. So how do you know if you are stuck in your ways?



Top 5 Signs You Are Stuck In Your Ways:

1. You talk about the past everyday.
Do you find yourself always saying things like: "we used to do it this way," or "we tried that a few years ago," or "when Susie worked here everything worked" or "it is a lot better than it use to be."  When your frame of reference is always focused on your past experiences and storytelling you may be stuck in your ways.

2. You think that new people joining your company need time to conform to the company culture before they can really make an impact.
Sometimes new people notice things that are out of whack before anyone else.  Have you noticed that you tend to disregard new people's opinions until they gain more experience in your organization? Do you feel like the new people have a lack of respect for everything that the company has accomplished in the past?  Do you find that the new people are complaining about the way the company does business or how a certain process works?  If you tend to think new people are negative unnecessarily you may be stuck.

3.  You have been in the same job with the same company for more than 7 years.
Does the thought of having to pack up your office make you cringe?  Have you applied and interviewed for a different job over the last 7 years?  Have you been asked what you want to do for your next job and not known the answer?  If the thought of changing jobs makes you nervous or anxious you may be set in your ways.

4. You have a routine at your office that you do everyday.
Is there something you have to do everyday before you can begin working?  Do you have desk items or a favorite coffee mug that you panic when you can't find it?  Do you park in the same spot, take the same route to your office, or use the same bathroom stall?  Do you eat with the same people at lunch at the same table every day? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be stuck.

5. You are hesitant to volunteer for new project because it means more work.
Are you skeptical of new projects or always thinking about all of the problems the project is going to run into?  Do you feel that taking on a new project would be too disruptive to your current work?  Would the new project be too disruptive to your schedule?  If you answered yes to any of this questions, you may be stuck.

So how do we avoid getting stuck in our ways or how do we get un-stuck?

I think as we get older, we will naturally get into a groove with how we spend our time and energy.  We find life shortcuts that work and we stick to them.  At what point do these familiar things cross over into a paralyzing and unproductive situation?  There are some preventative steps you can take.  No one wants to be or wants to work with victims of this condition.

Here are some suggestions that can help:

1. Keep Learning
Take a class at a local college, read a book, attend leadership training, or take the time to learn a new computer program or web site feature.  Subscribe to a blogger or podcast, join an organization outside of work you are passionate about, or spend time with someone you want to learn from at least once a month.  As long as you are learning you will have an endless supply of ideas and new stories to tell.

2. Break Up Your Routines
Take a different route to work.  Use a different mug or skip the coffee break at 3pm.  Keep mixing up how you spend your time.  The fewer routines you have the more you exercise your mind.  Try something new everyday and create variety in your life.

3.  Surround yourself with others that are not stuck
New people that join an organization are going through change.  They could use a friend to help them adjust but they can also be great people to help you see the same things from a new perspective.  Listen to the new ideas or their experiences from other companies.  You may be able to pick up something you can use or improve your work.  Who are the people in your organization that you feel are innovative?  Get to know them and find out how they approach their work.

4.  Take on work that is new
Force yourself to learn new things by seeking out new projects.  You will get to network with new people, explore new areas of your company, and add valuable experience to your resume or year-end review.  Not only will new work help you stretch your brain but it might help you end up with some great recognition or a promotion.

5.  Interview
Always be aware of your tenure.  Staying at a job or the same company is not a bad thing as long as growth is happening.  One great way to keep you on your toes and get you using your critical thinking skills is to apply for a promotion.  Don't just do it to do it.  Be sure you are applying for something that you want to consider doing.  After the interview process is over make sure you get feedback on why you were or weren't selected.  If you like what you are doing or feel it isn't the right time to switch jobs, schedule informational interviews with people that you want to network with or just learn more about their business or job.

Just being aware of your own tendencies is half the battle.  Treating this condition is a personal thing.  No one can cure this condition unless they want to be cured.  Hopefully now, you feel like you have a taste of the right medicine.

What do you do to make sure you are not stuck in your ways?

Tee Ball is the worst sport ever!

It has been a few weeks since Tee Ball started for my 5 year old nephew. It has been fun to see him play the sport and interact with the other kids. However, each time I go see a game I can't help but feel like something just isn't right.

I know this is most kids first experience at playing baseball but playing any sport, no matter what level, isn't just about learning the skills for the sport. Playing sports is about learning life lessons. In my opinion, Tee Ball in its attempt to be fair and introductory for kids, is teaching them life lessons that will set them up for frustration and disappointment for the rest of their life.

Imagine going to work and having everyone in your department make the same money, work the same hours, and have the same workload. Where everyone has to take turns doing special projects and when someone makes a mistake that may cost the company large amounts of money are told, "nice try." Imagine a work environment where no one gets fired for attendance issues, poor performance, or for cheating or lying. Sounds fair on the surface but what about the long term consequences. We all have that one person who doesn't pull their weight at work or is just a bad worker. What if they are rewarded the exact same way you are? Is that fair?

If there are no consequences for our actions what incentive is there for

achievement? How can we learn how to cope with failure? In Tee Ball the rules are that everyone bats, no one gets out, and no one keeps score. It makes it fair and lets everyone play but at what age is it appropriate to introduce the real life rules of baseball? Do you wait until they are age 6, 7, or 8? Do you wait until they get more experience in school with bullies, grades, or games at recess? When do you burst the child's bubble that people get out, strike out, or sit on the bench when they don't perform well? Don't we learn more about ourselves and others when we fail?

By not introducing the real rules at the start are we making kids more susceptible to developing unrealistic expectations later in life? These are the kids that expect to get something for nothing. The kids that grow up thinking they are the victim all the time. These are the people we work with that think that no one understands them or recognizes how talented they are when we know they are just average. Or worse, these are the kids that give up on sports very young because they think they are failures the first time a coach tries to correct them. These are the kids that become an overweight statistic or frustrated worker because of an overinflated self-image that is continually challenged by an authority figure.

This past week I witnessed a kid walk to first base after he hit the ball. Kids will be kids and I realize they are still learning the game, but there was no consequence. No one said, "little Johnny you need to run hard to first base when you hit the ball so you don't get out." For little Johnny there is no incentive to run fast because no matter what he does he will be safe and get to run around the bases with the next three batters. Johnny had no reason to try his best.

At what point in our life is it not okay to walk to first base? Shouldn't we be taught from the very beginning to always do our best? For a child who may not understand striving to do your best out of moral conviction, shouldn't we insert consequences into their lives so there is at least the possibility to do something great or missing out on something? It will give them a reason to apply themselves and achieve something. It will naturally make them want to do their best and allow them to learn gradually what happens when life isn't fair.