Once you are a victim your life is never the same. Your life comes to an abrupt halt and is forced down a path that you never thought you would have to go. The new path is really bumpy at the start. There are potholes, obstacles, and it is hard to see in front of you but easy to see what you have had to leave behind.
No one wants to be a victim but inevitably we all will be one in our lifetime, if not many times. Whether it is an attack, a burglary, a broken heart, job loss or something else, we all will experience it at some point in our lives. The severity will vary with each person and each incident but there only seems to be two results of being a victim. Some people are able to move on with their lives and continue down the new path of their life while others get caught going in circles at the beginning of their new path.
When you are going in circles it holds you back from greatness. You waste precious time rehashing the past and remain unhappy for a long time. When you take action, take steps, you are using your time wisely and you can turn your focus to things that will bring you or other people happiness.
So how do you know which victim group you are in?
The people that get caught going in circles demonstrate some common behaviors:
1. They talk about their situation every day. They are continually trying sort out what happened and in the process seek empathy from other people.
2. They think that other things that happen in their life all relate back to the moment their life changed when they became a victim.
3. They focus on trying to undo what happened. They think that if they could just go back in time and fix the situation things would be back to normal again.
The people that are able to keep going on their path and move on also demonstrate some common behavior:
1. They accept their new path and keep taking steps to move further down it.
2. They try not to talk about their situation all the time and prevent people from even knowing that they are on a new path. They just want their new path to appear to be normal. They talk about their situation when there is a better story to tell.
3. They learn from their experience and try to help others by preventing them from being a victim or by helping those who need to take those first steps down their own new path.
When you are sent down a new path in your life, one that you would not have chosen, you have a choice to make. It is completely normal to feel emotional, that the situation was unfair, and that it didn't have to happen. Being a victim comes with confusion and emotion and it takes time for your heart and mind to heal. However, being emotional and confused doesn't mean you can't start taking steps onto your new path. The more steps you take the more the healing happens. Everyone has to take steps at their own pace but what is most important is that the steps are happening. If you stop moving forward you can get stuck going in circles.
You can't go back in time but you can choose how you spend your time moving forward. Your new path is your new normal. Just keep taking steps.
