10 Signs You Are Rude

There is no excuse for being rude.  Situations may be stressful, you may be having a bad day, or you may be completely frustrated, but that doesn't mean you have gained the right to be rude to anyone.  Being rude means you have lost control of your own emotions, you are completely oblivious, or you don't care about people's thoughts and feelings.

Most people experience moments of being rude during a low times in their life but a few people are rude all the time.  Sadly, the "all the time" group, probably doesn't even know they are being rude.  It has become a way of life.  The people around them find it easier to ignore the rude behavior rather than to point it out.  They ignore the behavior because it shortens their interaction time with the rude person and avoids any confrontation.  However, when this behavior goes ignored, it sends the message that how that person is treating you is acceptable and makes certain it will be repeated.

Getting the feedback that you are rude is jolting.  No one wants this label.  With the right tone and timing, pointing out to someone that what they said or did was unacceptable has a way of dramatically changing how that person interacts with you in the future. Why do we let people be rude to us?  Why is it so hard to tell them?

How can you tell if you are being rude? Below are the 10 signs you may be being perceived as rude by other people:

10. You are always late
  9. You don't return phone calls or emails
  8. You ignore people that you know so you don't have to talk to them
  7. You don't tell people when plans change and they
      show up based on the original plan
  6. You interrupt people when they are speaking
  5. You wait to the last minute to complete work and make
      your emergency someone else's
  4. You are brutally honest with people not because it is
      the right thing to do but because it makes you feel
      better about yourself.
  3. You purposely leave people out of conversations or
      meetings to gain power from knowledge
  2. When someone is out of work for a day or two you are more
      concerned about how their absence will effect your work than
      you are about the reason they have to miss work
  1. You don't listen to what people say

The cure for rudeness... stop thinking about yourself, start thinking of others, and tell people when they are being rude to you.  The opposite of rude is being kind, mannerly, polite and respectful.  Start a routine of respecting other's time, finding ways to care about people, and refusing to ignore rude behavior.  What is your label?

Pursuing what is right

I had an experience this week that served as a great reminder of how easy it is for people to get wrapped up in the pursuit of something for the wrong reasons.

I think I am a fighter or at least put forth valiant effort in situations where I want something bad enough. I have even been known to achieve things, with a certain amount of success, just because someone told me I couldn't do something. It seems however, that the longer the pursuit for what you want the more frustration you can experience if you are doing it for the wrong reason. If I want something bad enough I will hang in there and keep pressing forward. Every once in a while there will be a definitive halt to the pursuit of what I want. The decision maker says "no" or the circumstance needed to get want I want are just not possible. In these situations I tend to accept things as they are and either move on or regroup to find another way to approach the situation later. It doesn't feel good to give up but it is a release for my conscience and it allows me to focus on the next thing.

But what happens when you don't give up?

I came across a person this week who would not accept "no" as the final answer and was willing to take extravagant steps in order to continue the pursuit of what they wanted. While on the surface this seems heroic. This person could be called persistent, dedicated, or courageous. This kind of effort is how people overcome illnesses, achieve remarkable feats, or win important competitions. America has a long history of people who didn't give up and went on to become important examples of how to pursue your hearts desires.

What if the pursuit isn't for health, achieving impossible dreams, or beating incredible odds? What if the pursuit is based on just the success of the pursuit? Your ability to get what you want is the only reward. Is it still noble and worthy? My answer--no... The line between taking right and wrong actions becomes very thin when the outcome you are pursuing is not a worthy cause. Getting what you want just because you can get it is not a noble cause.

Not Giving Up + The Pursuit of a less than noble cause = Dishonesty and Greed

Based on my experience this week, I feel like I have to re-evaluate all of the motivations behind my goals and the things I am trying to achieve. I witnessed how easy it was for someone to want something so bad that they lost sight of what was right and wrong because of the formula mentioned above. The value of the item they wanted was less than $10 and they simply did not qualify to receive it. In turn, they invested hours and hours into finding a way to get what they wanted because they just wanted it. The result of this pursuit: lying, asking others to breech confidentiality, providing false information, and eventually the receipt of the item they were pursuing. They got what they wanted and probably slept well that night but I wonder exactly what feelings they experienced when it was all over. Was it a sense of accomplishment? Were they truly happy? Did they really feel good telling everyone about their achievement? How long did the positive emotions last?

Imagine what could have been done if that time had been invested into something noble. I would like to encourage everyone to look at your own life and make sure that you have your heart in the right place when you are pursuing the things that you want the most. Don't pursue things just because. Make sure they are noble and worthy.

Ask yourself:
Will it make your parents proud? Will it make you a better person or help someone else in a way that they couldn't help themselves? At the end of day, will it be something that sits in your closet or on a shelf? Will it wear out or goes out of style? Or will it be life changing, make a difference, or be considered a priceless gift?