10 Signs You Are Rude

There is no excuse for being rude.  Situations may be stressful, you may be having a bad day, or you may be completely frustrated, but that doesn't mean you have gained the right to be rude to anyone.  Being rude means you have lost control of your own emotions, you are completely oblivious, or you don't care about people's thoughts and feelings.

Most people experience moments of being rude during a low times in their life but a few people are rude all the time.  Sadly, the "all the time" group, probably doesn't even know they are being rude.  It has become a way of life.  The people around them find it easier to ignore the rude behavior rather than to point it out.  They ignore the behavior because it shortens their interaction time with the rude person and avoids any confrontation.  However, when this behavior goes ignored, it sends the message that how that person is treating you is acceptable and makes certain it will be repeated.

Getting the feedback that you are rude is jolting.  No one wants this label.  With the right tone and timing, pointing out to someone that what they said or did was unacceptable has a way of dramatically changing how that person interacts with you in the future. Why do we let people be rude to us?  Why is it so hard to tell them?

How can you tell if you are being rude? Below are the 10 signs you may be being perceived as rude by other people:

10. You are always late
  9. You don't return phone calls or emails
  8. You ignore people that you know so you don't have to talk to them
  7. You don't tell people when plans change and they
      show up based on the original plan
  6. You interrupt people when they are speaking
  5. You wait to the last minute to complete work and make
      your emergency someone else's
  4. You are brutally honest with people not because it is
      the right thing to do but because it makes you feel
      better about yourself.
  3. You purposely leave people out of conversations or
      meetings to gain power from knowledge
  2. When someone is out of work for a day or two you are more
      concerned about how their absence will effect your work than
      you are about the reason they have to miss work
  1. You don't listen to what people say

The cure for rudeness... stop thinking about yourself, start thinking of others, and tell people when they are being rude to you.  The opposite of rude is being kind, mannerly, polite and respectful.  Start a routine of respecting other's time, finding ways to care about people, and refusing to ignore rude behavior.  What is your label?

The Cure For Worry

I am a recovering worry-aholic but I have found the cure.

Every time you are in the throws of uncertainty you start to worry. People try to help you by telling you not to worry. Which at that moment, is probably the hardest if not the most impossible thing for you to do.

With the uncertain times happening in our economy and the drama that is on the news every night it is hard not to worry. None of us know what the outcome will be and jobs, investments, and the comforts of life are all at risk.

People say, "try not to think about it" or "stay busy." While these are good tactics they are only temporary because the worry has a way of creeping back in to your thoughts. You can only stay so busy for so long and trying not to think about it means you have to think about something else which if you could do that you wouldn't be worrying in the first place.

Is there a cure for worry? A 12 Step program? A quick-fix pill? Does it take hyponotism or therapy? No, not for me. It was simple and it was right in front of me the whole time.

Let Go - Give up Control.

It was brought to my attention recently that I wasn't in control and never had been. The tighter I tried to control things the more stressed I became. Once I fully understood that the person really in control was more experienced, in the know about what going on, and had my best interest at heart it was easy for me to let go and trust Him.

I still have my moments but they are short-lived now that I know what what I need to do. By trusting and letting go of the control I can live with uncertainty without the fear and without the paralyzing physical effects worry can bring. Now I have peace and confidence that things will be just fine no matter what.

If you need to know this worry-free helper He is easy to find. Just close your eyes and pray and He will be there. God is the worry warrior. Let Him fight the battle for you. After all, He already knows the game plan and has a perfect record.

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? [7] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6:25

What are you watching?

I have just about given up watching the news on TV.

I don't know if I have just become more aware, if I grew up watching a different type of news, or if the news has changed. The news has become a drama show. Each time I watch I find myself getting sucked into a hardship story, a crime case, or a clinging to a teaser that makes me want to stay tuned until the next commercial is over. Once I realize what has happened, I feel like I have been taken advantage of by the news people. How can I fall for that old trick again?

I know better. I have worked with members of the media on several occasions covering press events. I have stood right next to the reporter as they interviewed someone and saw first hand what information was exchanged. Then hours later, I have watched the editing happen and somehow the story evolves into something where I wonder if I missed a part of the event. The edited version is more exciting and more interesting than anything I saw happen. This type of editing in the news is a top story or headline and it is portrayed as non-fiction or reality. On TV or in the movies this editing is hailed as creative storytelling and is openly portrayed as fiction or fantasy.

I think most people would agree that reporters and TV stations create their own drama to get higher ratings or to show off their TV personalities. We all know what they are trying to do but we keep watching anyway. It makes me wonder what role you and I play in this process. We are the people who buy the gossip magazines and who tune in to watch celebrities go to rehab or get arrested. Why do we enjoy seeing people fail and view it as entertainment but when we watch people on the TV news we wrap ourselves into stories that are personal, dramatic, and full of condemnation and accusations. We watch the news stories and begin talking to the TV set with phrases like, "those poor people," or "that is just horrible," or "I can't believe anyone would do that."

We know better so why do we do it? What is it in us that has to see what happened on the side of the road that caused traffic to slow to a crawl? Do we really want to see what could be happening? We know it could be bad and possibly traumatic for us to see it. Yet, we stop and look as if not looking is beyond our control? Why do we watch when we know better.

So before I started this blog I was ready to say how bad the media was and how we should all just tune them out of our lives. I was ready to blame them for everything. As I began to write things out I have developed a different perspective. I realized that the media does have some responsibility for what they choose to show on TV and how it is portrayed but really they are just feeding off of us. We are causing the drama frenzy because we can't stop watching.

So what do we do?

Avoidance and/or re-direction is usually my first course of action. Probably the biggest thing we could do is to change our hearts. We need to think about people in bad situations as if they were a close relative. While we shouldn't condone bad behavior, we need to love them and hope they to improve if they have made a mistake. Seeing people we care about struggle with life might be dramatic but it certainly wouldn't be entertaining. This is the type of drama that if given the choice, we instinctively would not want to watch.

What are you watching?