10 Signs You Are Rude

There is no excuse for being rude.  Situations may be stressful, you may be having a bad day, or you may be completely frustrated, but that doesn't mean you have gained the right to be rude to anyone.  Being rude means you have lost control of your own emotions, you are completely oblivious, or you don't care about people's thoughts and feelings.

Most people experience moments of being rude during a low times in their life but a few people are rude all the time.  Sadly, the "all the time" group, probably doesn't even know they are being rude.  It has become a way of life.  The people around them find it easier to ignore the rude behavior rather than to point it out.  They ignore the behavior because it shortens their interaction time with the rude person and avoids any confrontation.  However, when this behavior goes ignored, it sends the message that how that person is treating you is acceptable and makes certain it will be repeated.

Getting the feedback that you are rude is jolting.  No one wants this label.  With the right tone and timing, pointing out to someone that what they said or did was unacceptable has a way of dramatically changing how that person interacts with you in the future. Why do we let people be rude to us?  Why is it so hard to tell them?

How can you tell if you are being rude? Below are the 10 signs you may be being perceived as rude by other people:

10. You are always late
  9. You don't return phone calls or emails
  8. You ignore people that you know so you don't have to talk to them
  7. You don't tell people when plans change and they
      show up based on the original plan
  6. You interrupt people when they are speaking
  5. You wait to the last minute to complete work and make
      your emergency someone else's
  4. You are brutally honest with people not because it is
      the right thing to do but because it makes you feel
      better about yourself.
  3. You purposely leave people out of conversations or
      meetings to gain power from knowledge
  2. When someone is out of work for a day or two you are more
      concerned about how their absence will effect your work than
      you are about the reason they have to miss work
  1. You don't listen to what people say

The cure for rudeness... stop thinking about yourself, start thinking of others, and tell people when they are being rude to you.  The opposite of rude is being kind, mannerly, polite and respectful.  Start a routine of respecting other's time, finding ways to care about people, and refusing to ignore rude behavior.  What is your label?

Use Passion For Good

I recently discovered the newest excuse for less than professional behavior in the workplace... proclamations of having passion. Passion is:  a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.

Maybe you have witnessed this excuse?  When a topic or decision is being discussed in a meeting and someone: begins talking over people, interrupting, speaking loudly, strongly disagreeing without regard to others' feelings, ignoring others who try to express their thoughts, using sharp edged language, or getting frustrated when they don't get their way.  Lately, I have heard from several people that the reason a certain people act this way is because they are passionate about the subject at hand.  When did being passionate about something make it okay to be unprofessional?  When did this become acceptable workplace behavior?

I was always under the impression that having passion about something was a positive thing.  People long for spending more time with things or people they are passionate about in life.  Passion creates and endless supply of energy that people need to do great things.  Finding what your passionate about is an amazing process.  You can't plan it, force it, or buy it.  When you realize what your God given passion is and you are able to live it there are few levels of joy that can match the feeling.  So how can this priceless feeling of joy turn into a situation where it hurts other people in the workplace?

The moment someone disrespects another person in a meeting the passion that person has about the subject matter at hand becomes useless and unwanted.  The so-called passionate person quickly becomes viewed as out of control, rude, disrespectful, and not a team player.  It becomes difficult to work with this person because of how they make you or others feel.  You can find yourself not wanting them involved in projects or discussions because of how they dominate the conversation and how they cause a loss of momentum with the work.  You will begin having side conversations with the other people you need to work with on projects and only bring in the passionate person at the end of the process.  You end up spending more time managing this person and being less productive.

At no time is having passion about something an excuse for disrespecting people or for being unprofessional at work.  Being passionate and professional are not mutually exclusive things.  When you put them together you will find greatness.  You will see people flocking to work with these kind of people.  Passionate and professional people have huge networks, get assigned to big projects, and are always invited to meetings or to be apart of the decision making process.  They are a pleasure to work with and they inspire you.


Are you the one others manage or are you the one that people want to work with?  Be passionate about your work relationships.  Be passionate about how you treat people.  Use your passion for good.

Not a Fan of Halloween

I don't like Halloween.

My mom wasn't a big fan either which may have had some influence on my lack of affinity for it. Now that I am all grown up, I can honestly say I don't like it. Part of my dislike comes from the idea that Halloween glamorizes evil things but there is one thing that bothers me more. It really creeps me out when people dress up and pretend to me something they are not. Actors do this all the time but it doesn't bother me because I know they are pretending. I go to the theater expecting to see people portray characters and they are on a far away stage or movie screen. With Halloween, people are dressed up and standing or sitting right in front of me. I don't know if they are pretending to be someone else or if this is who they really are and this is their moment to break loose. I find this unsettling.

It seems like Halloween gives people permission to break the rules of appearances and behavior and I am forced to accept it. I went to a public building yesterday where any other day I know I would have found professionals happily doing their job. But on October 31st they came to work dressed as a cheerleader, Elf, Graduate, Golfer, Punk Rocker, African Royalty, a Sheik, and a few others that I had no idea what they were trying to look like. It just didn't fit. These people looked ridiculous. It is one thing to go out at night and join in the Halloween tradition of treat-or-treating or attend a Halloween costume party but at work... there is no reason for it.

I am all about having fun at work or going to a party with friends but Halloween isn't one of those times where you will see me going all out. Talk to me about Christmas or the 4th of July! Those are my holidays no special clothing required!